lightsabre cocksucking blues!

crushingaura @ 2003-12-16T17:51:00

2003-12-16T22:42:19Z

Hmm, i just bullshited a 6 week essay project in less than 2 hours. Damn, do i feel good.

So after winter break i convinced my mom to look into a behavioral specialist for me for my anxiety. I feel so good knowing that i will finally get that accomplished.. To be able to handle things "normally" or take simply tasks "simplyey" :)

Holly and I got all our last minute x-mas shoping done last night.. well, i did my remaining shopping.. Holly just did all her shopping in one day. Impressive. by 6 oclock we were so excited to eat.. we got some fries from Teds.. it tasted so good we couldn't help but makes sex noises while injoying their greasy goodness.. Of course we got lots of confused looks.

I can't wait for break.. I'll get to hang with all my friends i haven't in months. Its sad seeing as some of them only live 20 minutes away and yet i never see them. *shrug*

Tomorrow Bill and I are gana get our x-mas tree. Were gana get a little one.. like way little... just for the "sara & bill" presents and keep it in his room. We already started makeing ornaments. Everyone thinks we are huge nerds... but you know its the cutest idea you've ever heard.

crushingaura @ 2003-12-13T13:16:00

2003-12-13T18:09:15Z

I don't know why im so insecure. Why i fuck things up by letting them happen.. When its all up to me to save them by stoping it. I let everything good in my life fall appart. By a path that i choose to take. Even when i know the out come by taking that route. I will never undestand many things about myself. That fact will always be one of them.. It always have, im just destened to ruin every good thing in my life. By a small stupid act i chose to take, or disagreement i make. Maybe im afriad to be happy for too long? Maybe i don't feel like im worthy to live the good life.. Or prehaps im just not good enough to live in a world so genirous. Its all beacuse i have no hope in myself? I have something great in my life right now... lets see how long till i fuck it up.

dont read, unless u want to puke.... and eat it

2003-12-10T02:34:36Z

supershelll: WHAT U DOIN?
Sweet Chica876: scratching my ass
Sweet Chica876: poping whiteheads w/ a pencil
Sweet Chica876: naked
Sweet Chica876: beat that shit
Sweet Chica876: come on what u got
supershelll: while taking it up the butt with a screw driver
Sweet Chica876: while eating orange flavored creme savors
supershelll: oh man
supershelll: ude be in fucking heaven now
Sweet Chica876: while picking dandruff and eating it
supershelll: in a bath of crushed pamprine
Sweet Chica876: licking the dog poo from between your toes that you stepped in on the kitchen floor
supershelll: while wacking off Jason nichols to lilo and stitch
Sweet Chica876: and licking a lock of dingleberries from a musk ox ass
Sweet Chica876: while pulling bugers from your nose and inserting them into the anus
supershelll: shit, slice that anus open and gentely place around the opening some misseltoe.. for that nice "festive" effect.
supershelll: for all them kiddies of course.
Sweet Chica876: OMG
Sweet Chica876: YOU WIN

pointless... like really pointless.

2003-12-09T00:56:57Z

So my natural hair colors growing back in.. which does tend to happen after going 4 months with out a dye job.. I was sitting in the bathroom sink (don't ask) pulling out gray hairs for an hour. I pulled out 28 grays and 2 bright reds.. this confused me very much so. my natural color is no longer blondeish brown.. its gray. My hair puts me in those "im so ugly moods" when it grows back and im too lazy/poor to re-dye it.. I was looking at pictures today that Dana brought in.. from last years homecomming. And from me then to me now.. I was pretty.. and back then i use to thing i was total Ugmo. So thats kinda sad to think. I hope i haven't goten as ugly as i see myself. Doesn't steal my thunder though. I'm still the mother fuckin champ yo.

crushingaura @ 2003-12-07T16:31:00

2003-12-07T21:27:02Z

ive watched Finding Nemo 5x in 3 days
you love it

2 much bill bilson?
I THINK NOT

crushingaura @ 2003-12-04T14:25:00

2003-12-04T19:17:16Z

you better fill it out, and you know it!

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

crushingaura @ 2003-12-04T13:42:00

2003-12-04T19:00:23Z

no school today. or so i think.

4 days till my anniversary ;)

crushingaura @ 2003-12-02T18:55:00

2003-12-02T23:47:26Z

ha
i have the stomach flu
along with everyone else
your next

ritz crackers and their addictingness

2003-11-30T20:57:40Z

yesterday morning was the worst morning of my life. i went to bed at 4... woke up at 6 and couldnt fall back asleep.. the pain was atrocious. I just layed on the bathroom floor for two hours puking it seemed every 15 minutes. I should really get this looked at. But thankfully, it just comes and goes.. and expected.

lifes really good i can say.. good but hectic. Thanksgiving was good. Bill came over for it, then around 8 we went back to his place for desert with his fam. Then played an intense game of scatagory in which of course i rocked the house.

I can't wait till all this legal shit is cleared up so we can return back to norm and be stress free form this shit for the first time in months. Life will only get better than it already is

crushingaura @ 2003-11-27T11:20:00

2003-11-27T16:11:58Z

so.fucking.happy.

crushingaura @ 2003-11-24T16:07:00

2003-11-24T21:01:33Z

I never thought ide say this but, the new Blink 182 album is amazing.

I had a dream i had tea with a silverfish last night.

now, for the hour i wait for every year... "Oprah's favorite things" so good.

crushingaura @ 2003-11-22T14:50:00

2003-11-22T19:47:17Z

pretty raw night. hung out with snitz till 12.. poor little buggers back is falling appart. then Tom picked me up and we went to brads with 7 other nuckas.. hung out at nesters then had the tom/sara deep talks.. gata love those.

My parents want to have bill over for thanksgiving, i thought that was a really cute offer. Theyve never offered that before. Probley cuz hes one of the only normal looking people i hang out with ;)

Im getting more fish today finally. Im pretty excited about that. my one little remaining fish looks so lonley

crushingaura @ 2003-11-20T16:11:00

2003-11-20T21:05:29Z

I will only complicate you
trust in me and all will fall

crushingaura @ 2003-11-19T16:57:00

2003-11-19T21:51:51Z

my day was amazing.

not only did i have a pretzel that was orgasmic beyond belief

but, just touching the extreamly soft clothing in GAP body almost made me get naked in the store

holly can highly agree with me on that statement

crushingaura @ 2003-11-18T19:42:00

2003-11-19T00:35:43Z

being shir faced and tryying to type a 6 page paper = bullsht

crushingaura @ 2003-11-17T19:21:00

2003-11-18T00:17:35Z

well apparently i have a "floating rib" followed by some long scientific term.. in which i don't rember.. Basically my ribs is just chilling inside my body.. not attached to anything. I almost puked when the doctor told me that.

I have to start physical theropy.. not the kind where you do fun little exercises.. they hook me up to fucking machines and do tests.. they said it could take up to a year to heal. I can't deal with this pain for another month yet alone a year.

Im scared :( Its not fair.

Damn you Daniel Jalbeineano!

crushingaura @ 2003-11-15T12:16:00

2003-11-15T17:13:39Z

last night was pretty cool

hung out with Bill of course for a bit.. then Nick, Brad and Paul picked me up.. hung out at Nick's place.. left Nick and his house and went and met up with Beef and Tom..

Of course brad was stoned off his ass the whole time. Its so sad to see what he is turning himself into.. another good person down the shit hole.

I think next weekend is when Toms getting the cabin.. that will be awesome.. I guess its just gana be Tom,Steve,ghazi, maybe Sara & Bill. good shit.

job hunting today?

i think not

crushingaura @ 2003-11-13T17:31:00

2003-11-13T22:23:50Z

does anyone even fucking read this?

crushingaura @ 2003-11-12T15:43:00

2003-11-12T20:48:24Z

so i doubt ill get the job.
it would be beyond perfect if i did but theres no way i will be able to.

I can't live off of 40 dollars every two weeks anymore. My bills are racked up the ass. Its pathetic that i have to have my brother to help me pay them. I can't get a *real* job though. My anxiety is that terrible. But my family believes its all in my head.. Jeez, i wish it only was. I just want to be independent.. But i seem as far away from it as possible. I don't want to live with my parents forever like my sister seems to be doing.

I need to start taking actions in my life. I need to get a car.. fuck i need to get my license. I need to stop worrying about things and just simply fix them. But how long have i been saying that?

someday *sigh*

crushingaura @ 2003-11-11T20:46:00

2003-11-12T01:44:14Z

who ever ate my remaining jello cup...

will burn in hell

take it

2003-11-11T18:25:25Z

I hung out with Brad for the first time since like summer last night. I missed that kid, we use to have alot of good times.

I saw Elf with Bill too, it owned of course. I made him wear my pink sparkely scarf.. and i was wearing the matching hat.. we looked cute as shit

Went out to dinner with Holly @ Tom's resturante. We had girl talk and talked about bois. Awe, memmoried.

crushingaura @ 2003-11-09T00:34:00

2003-11-09T05:30:56Z

way too many noodles

weekend owned

not enough video games

going through withdrawl

crushingaura @ 2003-11-06T15:45:00

2003-11-06T20:49:59Z

last night was amazing

No motive was gay.. Their guitar player was acting like the show was all about him. FATA was decent.. Reggie and the full effect was truely one of the best preformances ive EVER seen. Soo good and of course, Alkaline Trio was breath taking. We got to talk to Matt after the show again.. no Dan and Derek this time though.. Sara & I took a totally of like 80 pictures last night.. obsessive? i think so.

I got some hot merch.

totally fucking sweet.

crushingaura @ 2003-11-04T12:48:00

2003-11-04T17:43:18Z

friday.. video games with bill.. saturday.. video games with bill.. sunday.. video games with bill... saturday.. noodles.. than video games with bill..

today i feel like being productive, then prehaps some video games.

tomorrows the trio.. now if only every bone in my body didnt throb.

random retartedness.. as usual

2003-10-30T23:45:24Z

FOr the past few weeks ive been hitting the sack around 7:30. Its a change from my not being able to fall asleep till 2 am habit.

I went to the doc's today. When a doctor looks at your brusies and cuts and goes "Yikes", then you know your fucked over. They just subscribed me stronge pain killers.

Im going tix or treating with Bill tomorrow, luckily we both look like we are twelve..I hope to keep this shit up till my mid 30s.. you watch.. and envy